Monday, April 7th, 2003
Animal Production picked me and my suitcase up in front of my house at 7:30 AM. We went to a stand of virgin rainforest somewhere that was being used for eco-tourism. There were poison dart frogs, psychedelic mushrooms, massive killer ants and all the stuff every rainforest worth it's salt should have - including loads of filth which we carried out on our clothing.

Then we went to a convent/retirement home? At a place called Valle Hermosa. This is where we were all to meet our counterparts (that is, people of at least moderate prominence who live in the actual places we are all heading to, who are to assist our integration and stuff). My guy from El Tambo is cool. He's a “professor” somewhere in the vicinity of El Tambo and he seems to be a strong person with loads of drive - someone I could definitely get behind. I will spare you mention of the endless icebreakers and exercises we all suffered through and just tell you that I'll be living 5 km from the ocean and will survive almost exclusively on seafood, unless I supplement my diet with cookies and potato chips from nearby Salinas.

After all the activities were over, I ran into my counterpart again at around 10:30pm. He was all eager to test out his English on me, which consisted of about 30 words. He left for bed abruptly and I hung out on a 3rd floor balcony until midnight talking with various people that drifted past.

  Tuesday, April 8th, 2003
In some exercise the counterpart and I did, I discovered all kinds of promising stuff about my site. They want me to teach English and computers, work with community banks on financing pig farms, take over a newly formed youth group, show people how to raise short cycle crops and maybe revive a few defunct chicken projects. They have some 700 hectares of empty land to play with, running water, beaches nearby in every direction and it hasn’t rained since last June (9 months!).

When all the scheduled activities for the day were over, most people went swimming. I’m all about swimming and would definitely have been game, but I‘m not going anywhere with any crowd of wound up PCT´s. Adam, Michah and I went into “town” instead. Afterward, I returned to the convent and drifted in and out of sleep while trying to write. When I got up, the power was out and scores of people were hanging out in the dark. I plopped down somewhere in the darkness among them and tried to get unconfused. I more or less skipped dinner and then proceeded to walk out of the Talent Show that followed during its 3rd act. Then I once again stayed up till midnight- this time on the roof- conversing with an ever changing assortment of silhouettes that occasionally burst into the 3rd dimension with the distant flashes of lightning.

  Wednesday, April 9th, 2003
Most people are fairly torn up this morning as there was an abundance of alcohol smuggled into the convent last night as the masses marked the end of interesting conversations in English. Today we all go cold turkey for a week as our collective gringodom is shattered like a clay bedpan, whose forsaken shards are melting into the distant green expanses of Ecuador.

A van took our suitcases from the convent to a bus waiting down the hill and off the property. We people arrived at the bus on foot. The bus went to the main terminal in Santo Domingo, and from there, some of us headed east to Quito and some of us, I included, headed south towards Guayaquil.

When the mountains disappeared, the mercury slid up the thermometer and the conversations ground to a halt. Guayaquil is definitely a modern place. It is also surprisingly diverse. At the bus station in Guayaquil, Guido (my counterpart) escorted me around like he was my personal security. We then bussed out to the peninsula where I will be living for 2 years. The green outside my bus window began to dwindle away and soon organ pipe cacti began to dot the landscape. It looked just like Southern Arizona. Then even the meager green that was left began to fall away and left nothing but short scrub brush and dust. That is the setting of my new home for the next 2 years. Dust, sun and heat.

The peninsula of southern Ecuador is the very northernmost tip of the arid coast that extends all the way thru Peru and half of Chile. The town of El Tambo looks like a Mexican town in the Sonoran desert. Every house is a small, one-story morter block structure with unsightly corrugated steel roofing. Except for the “principle highway” that passes through town, all the roads here are hard packed beige silt. Guido and I walked my suitcase to the house where I would be staying, the house of one Julio Liriano, and then he made his exit.

Inside, Julio showed me to my room and pointed at the bed saying, “I am poor, I don’t have much”, by way of an apology. I told him the room was perfect. He asked me if I wanted to use a cool shower after so much hot travelling. The shower is located next door in what used to be his brothers house. His brother fell thru the roof of the school last year and died, leaving 2 small kids and a wife…. and a shower, which wasn’t exactly cool because the water line lays inside a sun scorched earth. The water was actually hot. My last hot shower was almost 7 weeks ago and of course I finally get another one now that I’m in a desert trying to cool off. I shook dry like a dog next to a dead scorpion and then stepped back into the full blazing sun.

A soccer game had broken out in the street and the players were fairly obscured by the dust cloud their tramping about was producing. I was motioned by one of the guys to join the game, and almost did, before I remembered I had just stepped out of the shower and should probably forego the dust cloud if I was to meet the town president later, as Guido had me pencilled in to do. I sat on the porch and blinked repeatedly at the dust. These soccer players meant business. They were far better than the guys in San Miguel. Later, Julio showed me his workshop. El Tambo is a town of skilled woodworkers that nearly blew off the face of the earth when environmentalists put a much needed stop to the rampant deforestation that, among other things, was supplying El Tambo with wood. Julio showed me a few things he was working on. They were very well made. He told me a table and chair set with a couch would sell for 200 dollars, but since the economy’s near total collapse a few years back (due to rampant embezzling of money loaned to Ecuador thru international lending institutions that led to the dolarization of the currency) the demand for 200 dollar chair sets had cooled off considerably. Then we walked to a nearby tienda to buy a few things for dinner. Along the way, I pretended not to know what the big vulture on the streetlight was so Julio’s explanation would take the place of total silence.

After dinner, Julio, Guido and I met with the President of El Tambo. There’s not a lot to report about that encounter except that I was seeing double from exhaustion and was completely incapable of understanding Spanish. We more or less just debriefed el Presidente. Then I went home to bed. I asked Julio if El Tambo had scorpions. He laughed, why yes, just that morning he had gotten nailed by one hiding in his shoe. He said the pain had left and there was no swelling, thus, no harm no foul.

  Thursday, April 10th, 2003
During a scant breakfast, I watched statues of Sadaam Hussein being pulled over in Iraq. I saw euphoric Iraqis jumping up and down and I asked the family if the war was over. They told me the war is not over and neither has Sadaam been found. Guido called on the phone to say he would come by around 4pm. Julio and I then went to meet the head of the local primary school. At the school, I was oogled like a freak of nature by bug-like boys and small girls with pigtails braided so tightly they stuck straight out from their heads. Then Julio treated me to the whole his brother made falling thru the school roof. Then we drifted around town meeting important people and familiarizing me with the layout. Apparently, the national housing authority built 101 homes here back in 2002. Before that, people were crammed several families thick in bamboo houses. There has also been oil exploration here since the turn of the century. Even today the town was filled with orange jumpsuited petroleum guys looking for new deposits. I was shown a petroleum well and told the oil company pays the townfolk nothing for the exploitation of their land. I clarified several times, “ Nothing? But it’s YOUR LAND, right?” Then I asked if it was a foreign or domestic oil company. When they said the Ecuadorian government owns it, the 101 new homes suddenly made sense. Then I reflected back to something a guy in the back of a pickup truck said to me in San Miguel: “Ecuador is rich in resources, yet everyone is poor. Why?” I stared at the oil well being cooked in the sun in front of me. The 101 homes were a good start, but with all the wealth coming out of the ground in El Tambo, something might have to be renegotiated here. Then we visited a woman’s personal backyard garden with many fruit trees. She has to water everything, including the trees, by hand. This is true of any crop a person wants to raise in El Tambo. Fortunately, El Tambo lies between Guayaquil and the county’s biggest tourist destination, Salinas, and from the water piped out to Salinas from Guayaquil, El Tambo, too, receives water. For this privilege, each house pays about 7-10 dollars a month. Incidentally, phone service costs a minimum of 8 bucks a month and electric is 10-12 bucks a month unless you run all kinds of power equipment to build wood furniture, in which case it is 25 bucks a month. How do you like your cheap nuclear energy NOW? Back at the house, Julio’s 18 year old son Ivan (did I already say that Ecuadorians have a big thing for Russian names) struck up a conversation with me. Like Guido, Ivan loves speaking English. His English isn’t all that much worse than my Spanish. We had a blast talking (or trying to talk) about everything from wars to bus fares. We laughed our fool heads off. We spanglished and rifled thru our Spanish/English dictionaries until neither of us were certain which language it was that we spoke. I asked him about the video game system on the shelf. He said it mostly doesn’t work, but he banged it until it did. There on the screen was the original Super Mario Brothers that I had not seen or played in 15 years. I had been obsessed with that game in the late 80’s. It was almost frightening how much I remembered while playing. I found all the hidden secrets- often on the first try- because I was playing the game in some kind of semi-hypnotic trance that slipped me deep into a place in my mind completely unchanged in 15 years. Several kids between 6 and 8 years old gathered around in disbelief as I whooped ass. Their simplistic commentaries amongst themselves were hysterical: “Busca la estrella”, “bien, mas grande”, “salte, nomas!” When I finished the game, I asked who wanted to play next. The dazed children frantically urged me to have another go at it. I did. When I dragged myself away from the second game, it was nearly dark. After dinner, Julio, Guido, Ivan and I held a meeting about various items of business that quickly broke down into silliness. Aparently I had eaten calamari the other night for dinner but had been unaware. All I could taste was the ½ lb of onion and cilantro in my bowl. When I remembered there had been white chunks of something unidentifiable in my bowl, I reported I had mistaken the calamari for eggs. Not a dry eye remained.

  Friday, April 11th, 2003
Julio, Ivan and I walked up the highway to check out a few things on Julio’s dad’s property. On the way we found a few orange jumpsuited men drilling an exploratory hole for oil. We went up to them to watch. Ivan was immensely amused by pulling one over on the oil men by saying they were “carrots” in front of them in English. When we moved out of listening range, I asked a question about the oil men while using the Spanish word for carrots. This they fancied the very height of mischief and nearly puked laughing. We poked around a functioning oil pump and then went home. Julio and I then bussed to Salinas to see what was up there. Yeah, Salinas is nice, rather like Miami beach, but I think it’s going too far to say it’s “the nicest beach in Ecuador and arguably South America” the way people do. I would rather play at Pedernales, myself. Then I bought a 3 dollar pair of shoes for soccer in Libertad and we bussed home. 2 guys got on the bus and did a comedy routine that greatly amused the bus, in spite of their trying hard not to be. For lunch in El Tambo, I ate whatever the hell it is that lives inside a conch shell. I needed to write my speech that I am supposed to give to the whole town Sunday, but Ivan, who was supposed to assist me in this endeavour wanted to play movies all afternoon on some little digital contraption he had borrowed somewhere. I’m not sure what format the contraption was- VCD , I think- but it was the size of a Discman and the quality was ghastly. However, English speaking movies with Spanish subtitles are a great way to improve one’s Spanish as well as almost learn how to swear. Guido stopped in at 10:00 PM. I had been fully brain dead since Julio and I had returned from the equatorial frying pan of Salinas, but I somehow managed not only to look alive and speak Spanish, but also to keep the room in stitches by making fun of myself and everyone else. Thank God these people are simpletons or we might not have anything in common.

  Saturday, April 12th, 2003
Julio and I arrived at the radio station Brisa Azul in Salinas at about 8:15am. I had no idea what I was doing there. The Peace Corps sent word I was supposed to meet someone, but I had no idea who or why I should meet them at a radio station. We entered the room the station was broadcasting from. Several people with microphones were discussing some topic around a table. A single empty seat among them made me momentarily choke on my spleen, but alas, it was not for me. It took me far too long to realize there were gringos among the group as I had entered the station with no expectations whatsoever. When the Peace Corps gringa at the table finished with her part in the program (a program called “Los Sexpertos” that discusses various topics of health and relationships) she came over and plopped herself next to me on the couch. We pretty much forewent all introductions and preliminaries and went straight into jabbering at 100mph with big smiles and emphatic eyebrows. We had to be hushed when the program came back from a commercial break. After the show, the introductions spilled out into the area of yard outside the station. The president of El Tambo then magically appeared and the conversation somehow turned to the ease of male vasectomies vs. female, a “distribution of labor”, if you will, the machistas would not entertain. Their aversion- or at least their SPOKEN aversion- was that the procedure is not 100% effective and if your wife gets pregnant, you look really bad to the community. The gringa Debi and I wanted to ditch our Ecuadorian escorts ASAP. We moseyed in Santa Elena for a while. While we moseyed, someone stole the 10 dollar, 1½-year-old watch right off my wrist. As I had felt nothing and never let people linger close to me out of a general aversion to the human species, I was fairly impressed. I had been wanting to tan the area beneath my watch anyway. Debi and I made a polite escape from our Ecuadorian escorts and dropped in on a veterinarian. This vet was instrumental in getting the Peace Corps to place someone in El Tambo and is among the top handful of coolest people I have ever met. He lavished advice on me the whole time I was there. He’s going to be my contact for technical and biological information throughout my 2 years. I ran a question by him about goat vaccines, which he not only had a clear and immediate response for, but told me he could acquire the vaccines in question whenever I needed them. Then Debi and I went to the mall in Libertad. Yes, the mall. She notarised the expletive I gasped upon arrival in the food court and then we stuffed our faces with the most non-Ecuadorian foods we could find. The mall in Libertad is every bit as nice, if not nicer, than an average American mall. After internet, we popped into a massive grocery store inside the mall. As we strolled thru the “Hipermarket”, Debi mentioned the words “Peace Corps” in passing. I had totally forgotten I was in the Peace Corps. This is the Peace Corps? I’m shopping in a mall with ice cream on my breath. I’m buying a Frisbee and bags of Doritos. This wasn’t what I had been picturing when I was filling out my Peace Corps application. I’m not complaining, mind you. No sir. But lo’d this ain't what a brotha pictured. We bussed to Debi’s house with our groceries to flip television channels and devour artificial flavours and preservatives. We gabbed non stop until about 10:30 pm, when it became imperative I find a bus home. The bus we put me on went only as far as Santa Elena- 5km outside of El Tambo. I waited for my connecting bus forever, then started flagging down cabs looking for a good price to get home. I flagged down many cabs because I thought they could do it cheaper than the 5 bucks they were all quoting me. Alas I got one for 4 bucks and rode it home in the rain. Yes, I said rain.

  Sunday, April 13th, 2003
I basically laid around all day. Not by choice, really. Nothing was going on. I wrote a speech and then began taking notes on a book called “Pig Production in the Tropics”. Other than that, the TV and radio went on and off at irregular intervals and by 4:00 PM I was falling asleep sitting upright. I refused to nap because I had my speech to give at 6pm and I didn’t want to have a head full of fog.

I entered the meeting hall at 6:00 PM. People inside were making passionate speeches about the oil company greed. I started seeing double and fought to keep my eyes open. Then I was given my cue and came to the front to give my speech. I had written my speech in Spanish that was too elegant for me to try to ad lib. so I ended up just reading it. For unknown reasons, I became incapable of intonation and puked a monotone speech that I’m sure no one understood a word of. Luckily, I was too tired to care. Julio and I came home for a few minutes and then I and the entire family left together to visit with Julio’s in-laws that live on the main drag of town and own a tienda. They dominated the first half of the conversation while I struggled not to look asleep, but then I woke up and dominated the second half after Guido showed up. It ended up being a lot of fun. When we returned home, I flicked a rat turd off my bed, shook my blankets for scorpions and went away to dreamland.

WEEK 7       WEEK 9

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